It was a bright and sunny day when I first saw you. It was perfect. I just finished eating and chatting with a friend and was about to go back to the room. Then, you entered the cafeteria and you were standing meters away from me. Unconsciously, these thoughts came out of my mind,
“Etong lalaking ‘to, magiging jowa ko ‘to!” (This guy will be my boyfriend)
It was just a silly thought because I was looking for a boyfriend that time. Soon, I forgot about you. Months later, we met again. This time, you were singing in an event and I was mesmerized by your singing voice. I remember I literally fell for you…on the floor. I know you know the story. I was being bullied and friends were playing a little match-making game. It got so violent and seconds later I was all four on the floor. That’s when it all started. January 24, 2014. You sent me a request on Fb, I stalked you on IG, and even on Youtube and my Twitter account had been opened once again. I was overwhelmed when you greeted me (with a photo) a happy birthday on your Instagram. Like OMG! I was on your feed! (And we barely know each other). If God can talk, he can tell how hard I prayed for you every single day in the LC1 Chapel.
I never thought I’d be so kilig while watching a Disney movie on a Friday night. You came Maleficent-ing with me and some friends. You walked me out as soon as the movie ended and it was the first time I had a small convo with a guy I barely know. It was a fun night. You asked for my number and the rest was history.
Perhaps, it was 1 and a half years of dating and a year and 10 months of being together. We were so inloved.
We were happy back then. Weren’t we?
I’d like to believe that our breakup was just a nightmare I can forget. Why does it had to end like this? Have you forgotten I am your date for life? That you made God so happy that He gave me to you. We deserve each other. We do.
It was my fault, I made things complicated. It was your time I ever wanted. Though, I know you cannot give it to me on the days I really really needed it. I still got mad at you. I. did. not. understand. you.
I was selfish, jealous, immature girlfriend (or that’s what I want to believe in) otherwise you wouldn’t fall out of love.
My anger was the best option I had. I didn’t mean to get upset all the time. I was just hoping if I get mad you’ll care for me and be sweet again just like you sending me notes before, some random miss you messages and stuff girlfriends would like to feel.
I am not asking you to come back. I may not be able to welcome you with open arms. I am asking you to pray for me, that God may heal the wound you left me with. Still, I’m thankful I got to be loved by the person I prayed to God for. I am not regretting the moments we shared together. I love every single one of them.
You, too, deserve someone who can understand everything about you.
I hope someday we can be friends again.